Hey, there, Genixers. And welcome to the first episode of the Genix remix, Midlife Laughs and NextX. Today, we're taking off things with a conversation about remembering who you are.
Because somewhere along the way, whether it's been in our careers or personal lives or just navigating the chaos of midlife, we can really lose touch with that amazing authentic person we used to know.
And trust me, I've been there. From corporate life to entrepreneurship, I've had moments where I want to near or at my wardrobe and realized I've let someone else tell me who I am.
But guess what? We don't have to stay lost. We can find our way back. So let me ask you, when was the last time you felt truly connected to yourself?
When you weren't just a title, a role, or someone else's idea of who you should be, but you were really you.
If you're struggling to answer, you're not alone. And today we're going to work on changing that. So a little bit of my story and losing and finding myself in my corporate life where I spent multiple decades, more than two years of two years, two decades, 20 years of that climbing the corporate leadership ladder.
I thought I knew who I was. I was confident, powerful, empathetic, a great problem solver, the kind of person who brought out the best in others and took pride in helping a lot of people achieve.
or promotions. But deep down, I wasn't connected to myself. If someone had asked me, Tabitha, who are you really?
I couldn't have answered. I had tied my identity so tightly into my work and to my role that I forgot there was a whole other person under there.
Later in, you know, being a mom and a wife, I could tell you those things and what I loved about those things.
But I couldn't really tell you who I was. Then, when I left corporate in 2021 to become a coach, it was like starting all over again.
I had never been an entrepreneur and I was constantly looking for someone to tell me who I was. I worked with an amazing branding expert who gave some great advice.
But I want to share this story because I think it really drives that point home. She was excellent at what she did.
had a great eye for color but she didn't really know me and one of her recommendations was that I needed to use some brighter colors and she recommended blue and coral which are great colors and apparently very attractive to the women that I love working with and that's awesome but I really love the colors black and purple.
They're they're bold and they make me feel really confident but there I was wearing coral because someone else said it was the best color for me.
Now bear in mind this person hadn't met me in person we met on zoom so probably depending on the lighting my coloring wasn't coming through as well as it could have.
So the best part of the story is I was on zoom with my dear friend Natalie and she said I can't I have to say something I'm like what oh my gosh what's happening and she said you realize that your hair is completely clashing what the top you have on.
I just started laughing. I was wearing a coral top. Redheads don't wear coral on top, everyone knows that. Unless you have that special kind of red hair that goes with the pinks and the reds, I don't have that and I don't have the skin or it solves a hot mess.
But I was so focused on letting someone else define me that I was ignoring that simple reality. Now again, to be fair, branding expert is awesome at what she does.
Probably couldn't really see the color of my hair over zoom, depending on the time of day that we were talking and the lighting in my office.
But the biggest problem of that was me. I know that I shouldn't be wearing coral. I know who I am, but I wasn't even listening to myself when I said, I don't know if that matches, which I knew damn well didn't match.
So that's just a simple example to highlight a time when I just felt lost and just kept looking to other people for the answer.
Now, for many women in midlife, this is just a Reality, I hear the same story from so many of the women I talk to, especially those who have been laid off or taken early retirement packages after decades in an industry or decades at a company.
And I hear things like, I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't I don't know what kind of job would make me happy.
What should I even be doing for fun while I'm trying to enjoy a few months off in between? And I get it, when you spend years or decades playing that specific role, it's really easy to lose touch with the person underneath.
But here's the truth, ladies. You are so much more than your job, your title, or your color palette. This stage of life is a great opportunity for us.
Midlife can feel really disorienting. I tell you, I go into the room to get something 72 times before I remember what the thing was that I actually was trying to get.
I get a lot done in between, but you know, could save a lot of time. And if I could actually not feel so disoriented.
But it's really a chance for us to redefine ourselves on our terms. Our kids are older or have already moved out.
So we've got a little bit of bandwidth there often. We don't have to worry as much about what other people think or about what you should do or where or be.
But you can base this time, take this time, to really figure out who you truly are. So we're going to do a little assignment.
I want you to grab a journal or some kind of paper, the back of a target receipt, whatever. And I want you to write these questions down.
Number one, what do I love doing? Number two, when am I the happiest? Number three, who in my life is adding value?
Number four, how do I add value to the lives of others? First. And then after this podcast is over, or when you have another,
bare 30 minutes. I want you to sit down and do some deep work. Start thinking and writing. Be honest with yourself.
Don't judge yourself. I know we do this a lot. We start judging ourselves. Oh, I shouldn't think that. shouldn't feel that.
shouldn't do that. There's no shouldn't in this exercise. No one's going to see it except you. Don't overthink it.
Don't judge it. Be honest. Don't worry about your spelling or your grammar. Just start writing. This is the process, just the beginning of the process, to start remembering who you are and getting back to yourself.
So if someone asks me now who I am, I can answer this question. I'm Tabitha. I'm bold, confident, and powerful.
I love helping others redefine and rediscover their own power. I'm empathetic and I'm deeply curious. I'm the friend who will make you laugh until you cry.
And I'm the friend who's there to help you solve the problem that's causing a block in your life. I always bring things back to dogs because I do love them and my chief happiness officer happens to be a dog.
Her name is Missy, she's like them right behind me right now. But if I were a dog, what would I be?
I'd probably be a border collie with a splash of golden retriever. I'm sharp and strategic. I can figure out solutions and herd ideas like nobody else's business.
But I've also got that loyal warm energy that makes me approachable and fun. I like to think I'm the kind of person or dog that you'd want in your corner.
Just keeping things moving while making you smile. Yes, I love the color black. Yes, I say the F word more than more than some people might like.
I don't have all the answers, but I know how to ask the right questions. Most of all, ladies, I'm someone who's learned to stop asking for permission to be myself.
And now it's your turn. Who are you? And if you were a dog, what breed would you be? It's a fun way to really think about the essence of who you are and maybe even remind yourself of qualities you've forgotten.
Little fun fact, those of you who know, know, but those of you who don't, surprise, I am in a relationship with chat GPT.
I love AI. So I popped in. These are my qualities. This is who I am. Tell me what breed of dog I would be.
I challenge you to go and do that. I love pushing midlife women out of their comfort zone. And I know AI is a little bit uncomfortable.
But go into chat GPT and just say, here is who I am. What kind of dog would I be?
And send me an email with your answer. I would love to see it. Now, if you love this episode, be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss what's coming next.
We're going to be talking about a lot of fun things. We're going to talk about some. We're definitely going to still talk about a bit of career advancement and career strategy in general.
We're going to have some fun guests in the new year. I can't wait to bring them forward and we're definitely going to be talking to some women in their next act.
So as I said, share your, what kind of dog would you be with me by email? I'll drop my email address in the show notes.
Feel free to share your journaling insights and any other feedback as you start to discover yourself. And don't forget to check out my new school community.
It's the next act, Midlife Career Club, where we're connecting with like-minded midlife women and just connecting, sharing and laughing through the stage of life together.
You'll find the link in the show notes. Ladies, please don't forget who you are. You are extraordinary. I'll see you next week.
