Tabatha Jones (tabathajones.com)
Hey there, Gen Xers, welcome back to the Gen X remix, midlife, laughs, and next X. I'm your host, Tabatha Jones, and today we're going to have a conversation about the holidays.
We're recording this just a couple of weeks before Christmas, which is what my family celebrates, so I thought it was a really great time to have the chat.
Let's start out by asking a quick question. Welcome back to the Gen X remix, midlife, laughs, and next X.
I'm your host, Tabatha Jones, and today we're going to be talking about some holiday hacks. We're just a few weeks away from the big Christmas holiday, and I thought this talk
thick would be really helpful for those of you who are thinking, how in the hell is it already December?
I've been thinking that for the past five days. So let's start out with the question. I want you to think about what's the best Christmas gift you've received over the past couple of years?
Really think about it. Was it something expensive, something meaningful? Is anything at all coming to mind? For so many of us Gen X women and the ladies I talked to regularly, the holidays are a time of joy and often overwhelm and exhaustion.
That never ending to do list of holiday baking, shopping, parties, gift exchanges. I think I'm part of four this year.
How did that happen? Family traditions on top of it all and then don't forget you're still managing the busiest time of year at work as a leader as Q4 is coming to a close.
And there is a cost to this ladies, so let's be real. the gifts, food, the decorations, the event, the gas.
It is so easy to spend thousands of dollars, left it on gifts that aren't even appreciated. Some of my friends and the women I know go into debt every single year to buy the perfect gift for everyone.
They buy gifts for their adult kids, their adult kids' spouses. Grandkids absolutely get that one day I'm going to have them and I'm going spoil the out of them.
So I get the grandkids. But the adults, most of us have what we need. And the madness has got to stop.
Ladies, you're in control and you deserve to enjoy this time of year as much as everyone else. So let's take a deep breath and let's rethink it together.
going give you some strategies to help you take back your holidays. So let's start by defining your holiday vision.
Have you ever stopped? And just ask yourself, what is my vision for the holidays? Is it relaxed and calm?
Is it festive with lots of parties, maybe opening up your house to a lot of guests? What is it?
Because it's really your choice. You don't have to do it all, even if it is a tradition. I know families and I did this many, many years ago, many years ago, I was in my twenties.
can't even imagine trying to do that stuff in my fifties. But we would get up in the morning in our house in Pleasanton.
We would drive the all the way to grandma's house to have kind of a brunchy lunchy thing, open gifts, do the thing, hop back in the car, drive 50 miles in the opposite direction to go with the next part of the family, swing into the third family for dinner, which God knows we were already having to wear sweatpants by then because we couldn't breathe only to get home and then
but our own presence at night and just feel exhausted. A lot of people do that and maybe it's been the tradition, but the reality is you're in control and you can make changes.
For me, at this point in my life, I really love looking at Christmas lights. It's a non-negotiable. Usually a friend or two and I will get together and we'll just go out with our coffee or hot chocolate and walk around or drive around and look at lights depending on the neighborhood.
We've got one neighborhood in our area where you get out and you walk through probably, I don't know, five, six street blocks of beautifully decorated homes.
I love that and then we'll hop in the car and drive around and see what else is out there.
I also love spending time with and it's not done on Christmas day. Because... It's Christmas Day for me. It's about my immediate family and really locking in with just myself, my husband, my son, and his lovely girlfriend and our dog, Missy, because she's part of everything.
We stopped that leaving the house stuff on Christmas Day when my son was really young. And I realized it wasn't fair to have him, you know, enjoy a morning, quickly open gifts, and then jump and race in the car to go to grandma's house or whoever's house we were going to.
So when he was really young, I said, you know what, we're changing the tradition. Did I feel like a little bit of a beauch kind of?
But on the flip side, the negotiation was, we're still going to spend time together. We're still going to have a day where we get together and do things as a family, but we're also going to enjoy Christmas on our own.
And as our extended family has had children, my youngest sister has kids, her youngest is now six. They enjoy the fact that they don't have to get up and race.
out to go to the next house. They can enjoy their mornings. So I want you to think about what does your ideal holiday look like and how can you make it happen?
You know, ladies, we gen Xers, we worry about what everyone's going to think, whose feelings are going to be at hurt, you know, what if we make this change and they don't like it and change it back next year?
It's fine pure joy in it. And when it comes to gift giving, set some boundaries. Do you need to buy gifts for everybody?
Sometimes going thousands of dollars debt? Probably not. A strategy that we use in our family, and we started this a long time ago, is we buy gifts for the kids.
All of the adults, we have what we need. We, you know, I've got a 29-year-old son, and if there's something that I know he needs.
Like last year was a set of knives. That's what you'll get for Christmas, but in all honesty for extended family, especially The adults purchase a $25 gift and then we make that just part of a fun game on our holiday gathering day It keeps things so simple and affordable and fun and Honestly, the favorite gifts from our family have been blankets booze and My favorite one year Sorry, you got to follow me on this story One year I discovered the book Brenda's Beaver needs a barber So I worked with my sister to make sure that through the family gift exchange my mother ended up with that gift bag and Then we Required her to read us a bedtime story Which was the book while we were all doubled overlapping and my mom did the best job of putting on her miss Kathy preschool teacher face
and reading Brenda's beaver needs a barber and then showing the pictures as you would to a preschool class. That gift literally I spent my $25 because there were a few other things in the basket but that book entertained the entire family for a good 30 to 35 minutes and I don't know I think it's maybe four years later we are still laughing about it.
It just came up at Thanksgiving. So sometimes the least expensive gifts add to the most fun and then guess what nobody has to deal with returns either which makes it really kind of cool.
When I think about the question I asked at the beginning about the best gift you've received over the past few years I think about gifts I've been given and the best gift I've received was a beautiful ornament that my sister made for me.
She made it out of one of my grandmother's earrings. So my grandmother passed away a while ago. It's been a long time now and my sister inherited a little jewelry box with just some costume jewelry in it and she took a pair of the earrings that were in that box and turned them into ornaments and gave one to me and one to my mom.
It probably cost her a couple dollars to make that ornament but it literally brought me to tears. It was so beautiful.
My nana was my favorite person in my life and it just felt like she was there with us that day.
Fast forward that ornament hangs in my living room year round. It goes with my decor. It's beautiful and every day when I see it I can think of my nana with fondness and happy memories.
The gifts that cost the least are sometimes the most meaningful. So before you go super far into debt for the holidays I want you to think about that.
The other thing is simplify holiday hosting. It doesn't have to be overwhelming or expensive. When it comes to our holiday meal, generally share, it's going to be Italian.
So I'll make a lasagna and a vegetarian penny or manacotta, something super simple. I said, manacotta, manacotti, something super simple.
I'll have the guest spring appetizers. I'll have a beverage, which will likely be sparkling wine with cranberry juice. And then I take care of the desserts.
And the reason I take care of the desserts is because I love to bake. Literally once a year, I make a huge mess.
It's horrible, but I like to bake once a year and I do it at Christmas. And it lets me kind of have some fun, get into the spirit, enjoy some great smells and snacks while I'm getting ready.
And then also it helps me make sure that my mom is safe. My mom has a severe peanut allergy, so...
Generally, people don't put peanuts in appetizers, but sometimes they forget, and I'll put them in the cookies. So I make sure that my house is completely peanut-free, completely safe, and even though my middle sister a few years ago brought a plate of cookies with a little peanut butter cookie right in the middle, and we still joke about her trying to kill my mom, I've just pretty much taken over dessert, and it just solves so many things.
So whether it's simplifying that hosting by keeping it small, by making a simple meal, by ordering food and catering it, or grabbing a pre-made lasagna at Costco, no one's gonna know if you hide the packaging, keep it really simple.
So it's not overwhelming and exhausting, and you can really enjoy yourself. And then re-think buying for yourself. So let's be real, ladies.
I know you buy your own gift. I've seen it. My dog buys me gifts. I get it. And that's okay.
But before you buy yourself another bag or another pair of shoes, I want you to take a moment to think about, what are your goals for the new year?
Do you want to start a garden? Awesome. Treat yourself to some great tools or some seeds or gloves, something that's going to get that garden going.
Do you want to redecorate your bathroom? Maybe build a she shed or create a little zen space inside your home?
Perfect. Pick out some candles or some artwork. There are items that will help bring your vision to life. Do you want to improve your career or build your confidence and really ask for what you want at work?
Amazing. Book a call with me and let's talk about how that works or treat yourself to a copy of Promotion Ready in three months, a book that's available on Amazon.
Get yourself something that's an alignment to your goals. For me, my gift to myself this year, uh, I'm planning to go to Paris in June.
I have not been overseas. I've left the country to go to Mexico, but that doesn't really count. They say when you're in So, uh, I am going to go to Paris next June.
And when I was asked what I wanted for Christmas, I told my husband I want the deposit for my trip to Paris.
Gonna be going with girlfriends. I've already planned it. But hey, you know what, if he hands me the deposit, then it feels like a gift and it just is an alignment with my goal of getting to a location overseas in 2025.
So I am super excited about that. So in closing, you don't have to do everything. You're in control. You're in control of your holiday season.
You're in control of how much joy you get to experience or how much exhaustion. So define your vision, set your boundaries.
Focus on what matters the most to you and let the rest go. Oh my gosh, sorry, it just popped into my head.
I should have probably mentioned this earlier. That elf on the shelf, those of you who are doing that, you are freaking amazing.
I'm so happy that elf came around after my son was a child because I would have failed miserably, but I do love watching the posts and seeing the creativity.
So feel free to drop me an email and show me your most creative elf on the shelf. If you're actually doing that this year.
Okay. And if you were doing it and now you've changed your mind because of what I said, you're welcome.
All right. Now, if you're ready to start 2025 with confidence, both in your career and your life, I'd love for you to grab my free gift.
It is an e-book called Career Confidence Over 50. The link will be in the show notes. You can also go just out to my website and powered dash leader.com slash free gift.
grab it right away. So in closing, as you think about your holidays, I want to leave you with this.
What is one thing you can simplify and one meaningful memory you want to create this year? Let's make it happen, ladies.
Until next time, have a fabulous day and cheers to you.
